


Bullshit Chuck Has to Deal with

by GabrielBubbles



Category: Supernatural
Genre: ..... - Freeform, Chuck is a single dad, Crack Fic, Gabriel is a treasure, Gabriel is the best, Good Lucifer, Good parent Chuck, Honestly I feel bad for the guy, M/M, anyway, ignore basically all of these, no being that has ever existed deserved him, ok
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 14:42:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28583694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GabrielBubbles/pseuds/GabrielBubbles
Summary: Just basically all of the bs Chuck had to deal with while it was only the archangels.(Getting basically all of these ideas from my relationship with my three brothers)[UPDATED WHEN IM BORED WHICH IS ALL THE TIME]
Comments: 3
Kudos: 16





	1. Chapter 1

Gabriel ran down the hall, Raphael on his tail. “GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE FUCKER!”

“I SAID SORRY! I’LL CHANGE THEM BACK! STOP CHASING WITH A FUCKING KIFE YOU ASSHAT!”

“CHANGE THEM BACK FIRST!”

“I CAN’T WHILE IM FUCKIN RUNNING DIPSHIT! Raphael growled but stopped running and breathed heavily. Gabriel did something to his wings and now they where green. “Thank you. Anyway, here.” Gabriel snapped his fingers but nothing happened. He snapped them again. Oh no.

“Gabriel.”

“Raphael.”

Raphael stares at him then started screaming. “DAD! GABRIEL FUCKED UP MY WINGS!”

There was a long tired sigh and Chuck turned the corner to see Raphael almost in tears and Gabriel looking ready to run for his life. Then He saw it. Raphael’s wings. “.... It’s not bad. Actually kind of suits you.”

Raphael sniffled. “Really!?”

“Ya. Brings out your healing. I don’t know how.” Raphael smiled and skipped down the hall with his arm linked in Gabriel’s. “Kids.” Then all you hear is a screech by the two oldest.

“RAPHAEL, GABRIEL!”

“Oh myself. What NOW!?”

“THEY CHANGED MY WING COLOR!” Two identical shots came form the other room. Lucifer and Micheal come out to show pink wings and blue wings.

Chuck didn’t get to say anything because all three looked at Gabriel. “Uh oh.” Then they snapped their fingers. Gabriel’s wings turned into what you would compare to a sunset or rise. Gabriel looked at them then laughed. “Suck it. I like them.”

Chuck just watched as the four jumped on each other and rolled around the floor. “Oh for my sake! Get up!” Chuck was pulled into the pile after His pathetic attempt to get them off each other. Chuck just sighed tiredly as they cuddled up to Him and fell asleep. What the fuck.


	2. A Knife! No!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Honestly poor Chuck

Gabriel glared at his father. For a 60 year old archangel (about 6 months for a human baby) it was a scary glare. “What’s wrong baby boy?” Chuck cooed and picked the little one up. Chuck wrapped His eight white, but if you look close every single color, even the ones humans can’t see, wings around the small fledgling. Gabriel’s own six sun set wings flapped pathetically cute as Chuck swayed.

Gabriel let out a baby gurgle and poked His face. Chuck laughed and teasingly bit Gabriel’s fingers. “I’m going to eat you! Don’t poked Daddy! Daddy becomes a Gabriel eating monster when you do.” Gabriel’s true voice rang out as Chuck blew raspberry’s on his tummy.

“DADDY! MICKA IS BEING MEAN AGAIN!”

“I AM NOT! LUCI HIT ME FIRST!”

“Daddy they sayed no no words!”

“RAPHAEL!”

Chuck sighed. “Gabriel, please don’t be a headache like your brothers please.” Chuck mumbled to his youngest. Gabriel only gave him a innocent baby smile, not having a care in the universe.

“BOYS!” Chuck left the room. Gabriel still on his bed.

Michael and Lucifer turn around and start talking at the same time. Chuck looked up and cursed himself. His 700 year old (7 in human) and 600 year old (6) argue a lot but are secretly best friends. Raphael, 300, is their little minion but they love him very much. Chuck is honestly scared for Gabriel.

“Slow down! I can’t hear both of you when you talk over each other.” Lucifer and Michael stopped and glare at each other.

“Michael called me a butt head!”

“Lucifer hit me!”

Chuck looked at Raphael. “How about you tell me?”

“We in da garden play tag and Luci was it. Luci jumped on Mikey and day falled. Den Luci hit Mikey so Mikey get off Luci. Den Mikey call Luci,” Raphael came up closer. “Butt head.” He whispers.

Lucifer and Michael pouted. Chuck hummed and picked the green winged boy up. Raphael smiled at him and linked his arms around Chuck’s neck. “Hi Daddy.”

Chuck couldn’t help but chuckle. “Hey sweetie. Michael, Lucifer, go to your room. You are to stay there for the rest of the day until dinner. If I hear one word of argument, you will be brought over my knee.”

The two’s lip tremble by the tone of voice Chuck used. His disappointed voice. The drag their feet and make the small walk to the shared room. Chuck adjusted Raphael on his hip and walked to the kitchen. “You wanna make those cookies?”

“YA!”  
___

Gabriel was alone in the room and he didn’t like it. ‘Daddy’ (that’s what the others call Him) isn’t in the room nor has been for a long time. Or what he thinks is. He tries to call ‘daddy’ the way the others do but the only think that comes out is a loud cry. He scrunched his face.

That was hard. He’ll try that some other time. This time, he shifts his body, trying to get on his stomach. It took Gabriel a few tries to get on his stomach. Gabriel has just learned to crawl the other day and maybe he could get to daddy by crawling. Gabriel fell a few times as he got closer and closer to the edge of the bed.

Then, he fell of the bed. He twisted his hand in a weird way. Gabriel screamed and felt the tears fall.

Chuck was helping Raphael put the cookie dough in the oven when a loud thump rang through out the house. At first he thought it was just his two oldest but then a loud cry that sounded a lot like Gabriel soon followed after. Chuck quickly placed Raphael on the floor and He ran upstairs.

“Gabriel!?” Chuck ran over to the side where Gabriel fell off the bed and gently picked him up. “Hey, hey, it’s ok. Daddy’s here. You’re ok. See, only a little bump- shit your hand.”

Chuck stood up and held Gabriel to His chest. Gabriel sobbed and Chuck felt His heart clench. He couldn’t believe He really forgot about His baby. Chuck walked down to the kitchen slowly and put Gabriel on this counter carefully.

“Daddy? What happen to Gabby?” Raphael asked, his wings twitching.

Chuck frowned. “He fell off the bed. I forgot I put him on the bed and not his crib. Myself I messed up.” Chuck mumbled the last part to His self. Taking a deep breath, Chuck snapped Gabriel’s hand forward and flinched when Gabriel screamed.

“Daddy!”

“It’s ok Raph.” Chuck quickly healed the hand with His grace and picked Gabriel back. “It’s ok. See? All done. All better.” Chuck cooed to the crying fledgling. Gabriel hiccuped and brought his fist to his mouth.

“Gabby better?” Raphael asked, climbing into the chair next to Chuck. Raphael smoothed down Gabriel’s hair and kissed his forehead.

“Gabby better.” Then the smell of smoke filled the kitchen. “The cookies!” Chuck placed Gabriel in his older brother’s arms and hurriedly pulled the burning cookies out. “Dang it.”

Raphael felt his own lip tremble. Daddy said they could have cookies but they are burnt now. Chuck turned around after putting the mini fire that started out and saw Raphael’s face.

Chuck mentally gave up. His two youngest are having a brake down and the two oldest are fighting 24/7 to get His attention. “It’s ok baby. We can just make more. I promise. Tomorrow ok?”

“You said dat mutereday!” Raphael cried. That’s caused Gabriel to cry. Gabriel not knowing why his older brother was which made him scared and Raphael because he wanted his cookies.

Chuck sighed. He placed both in His lap and swayed. “I know honey. I know. Can you be a big boy and try?” Raphael shook his head no. “Why not?”

“Because!”

Dang. The fledgling is taking after Lucifer too much. Speaking of, the room is quiet. Too quiet. Chuck closed His eyes. This isn’t good. He has to crying fledglings and has no clue if the older two have killed each other or if they are working together to take over the universe.

Then, the one thing that could make things so much worse happened. Lucifer and Michael come down crying and apologizing. This makes Gabriel scream and cry louder, wanting Chuck to feed him. That makes Raphael cry even more and louder because he wanted his cookies he was promised. This makes Lucifer and Michael louder because they feel bad and they are hungry now.

Chuck felt His own eyes burn. All four of His kids are screaming and crying. He has no clue whatsoever how to help all of them at the same time. Then He starts to cry Himself. This scares the living fuck out of Michael and Lucifer so they cry even louder. That causes Raphael to hair full on scream with tears pouring down, then that makes Gabriel scream because Raphael noise level was hurting his ears.

Chuck ends up in the floor with all of His kids in His lap, sobbing hysterically. All wanting Him. This just makes Chuck start to sob. When did this become “who can scream and cry the loudest” companion? Chuck wrapped His wings around the four and His self.

The archangels felt the safety of them and slowly quiet. This makes Chuck stop completely. Gabriel is still crying slightly. The other three are sniffling and hiccuping. Lucifer and Michael take both His sides and clutch to Him. Raphael sticks his head in Chuck’s neck. Gabriel fisted Chuck’s robe.

Chuck sighed and leaned against the wall. The four cuddle Him and start to nod off because that mental brake down took it out of them. Chuck kept His wings tightly around His children as He fell asleep Himself.  
__

“Long night brother?”

“Shut up Amara.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RAPHAEL IS LITERALLY ME


	3. Platypus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Platypus.

Chuck gritted His teeth as Gabriel pulled His hair again for the sixth time this passed thirty seconds. “Daddy!” Gabriel then sat on. His. head. “DADDY!” Gabriel moved to His shoulder. “D A D D Y!”

“WHAT!?”

Gabriel pouted. “Pay attention to me.”

“No.”

“Whyyy?”

“Because I said no.”

“That’s not a reason silly!”

“It is now.”

Gabriel pouted some more and wiggled and climes on his dad some more. “But I’m BORED!”

Chuck slammed His book down that He was editing. “Then go play with your brothers.”

“But they do too many big boy things!”

Chuck laughed out a groan and bung His head on the hard top. Why did He make Gabriel a hyper active child? Don’t answer that. “Then take a nap.”

“I’m not tired.” Chuck sighed. “Daddy?”

“Yes Gabriel.”

“Platypus.”

“Huh?” Chuck moved His head back up and looked down at the baby archangel who was in His lap. “What the fuck is a platypus?” Gabriel shrugged. He snapped his fingers and a drawling only a child could make was placed in His hands. “Is this a beaver on crack?”

Gabriel rolled his eyes. “No! It’s a platypus. They lay eggs. AND! They are poisonous.”

Chuck looked at the picture and then Gabriel’s face. He groaned. “Fine! If I make you a... platypus... will you leave me alone?” Gabriel nodded. Chuck waved His hands around. “Here. Now go.”

Gabriel hopped off His lap and ran to his room. “I’m gonna name you Parry!” An hour later Gabriel came running down the stairs with Parry. “Daddy! Watch this!”

Chuck put His book back down and grudgingly turned to His youngest. “What now baby?”

“Parry sit!” Parry rolled over to his side. Gabriel copied him. “He doesn’t do much.” Gabriel smiled brightly.

Chuck looked over at the map He made of the world that He will one day make and put a picture of Parry on Australia. With the rest of the weird shit His kids made.


	4. Michael is adorable bye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just Michael
> 
> (Michael’s grammar is equal to a three year old even thought he’s like one.)

“Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!” Michael, an 100 year old archangel (1ish in human), yelled at his father out of breath. Chuck turned around from His work space and raised an eyebrow. “Daddy! Looky!”

Chuck crouched down to the little one’s level and looked at the small thing in His only child’s hand. (It’s only Chuck, Amara, Michael, and the Empty right now.) “What’s this my little explorer?” It kinda looked like slim.

Michael shrugged. “I no know. It near no no door.” Chuck frowned. That’s the door that opens up into the Empty. If Michael walked into there he would no longer exist. Chuck had banned Michael from ever getting too close.

“Why where you at the no no door little boy? I thought I said not to go near it.” Chuck folded His arms and stood back up.

Michael looked down in embarrassment. “Sowwy. But big bang and I’s scared. I went see and dis there.” Michael poked the thing again and it moved.

Chuck felt panic crawl in His chest. “Mikey, give Daddy that.” Michael pouted but let the goo roll off his hand into Chuck’s. “Thank you baby. Now, go to my room, get in the closet, and don’t come out until I say so.” Michael tilted his head but shrugged.

“Ok Daddy.”

Chuck watched His son run up the stairs and heard His door open then close. Chuck walked over to the front door and walked out. “Amara!” Despite not being on the best of terms with His sister, Chuck called for her anyway.

A cloud of blackness covered the land and turned into a women. “What? Finally admitting that little thing you made is disgusting and should be vaporized?”

Chuck closed His eyes and took a breath then opened the again. “Amara, please, don’t talk about my child like that. Anyway, I think Francis is trying to open the door.” Chuck still doesn’t understand how The Empty’s real name is Francis but whatever.

Amara blinked. “Ok. And?”

“.... They can kill us both?”

“Oh right-“ Amara looked at the goo in Chucks hand and took it. She flew over to the door and stuffed it back under the little crack and sealed the crack. She then made the door much smaller until it was just a concrete wall. “There. Problem solved.”

Chuck opened his month then closed it. Well, that was easier then He thought it would be. “Thank you sister.” Amara rolled her eyes and went back to wherever she goes.

Chuck just shrugged and flew back His home that He made and walked to His room. “Mikey? You here baby boy?” A giggle came from behind the door and Chuck smiled. “Well I guess he doesn’t want dinner.”

“No Daddy!” Michael pouted and opened the closet door. “I want din!”

Chuck smiled and picked the archangel toddler up. “Well I guess that we have to go downstairs and make it then!” Michael nodded and pointed to the bedroom door. Chuck hummed as He walked to the Kitchen and gently placed Michael in a chair. “Stay.”

Michael pouted but did as was told. “Daddy.”

Chuck snorted. Michael could never go long without talking. “Michael.”

“Daddyyyy.”

“Michaaaa”

“Daddyyyyyy!”

“Michaaaa!”

“DADDY!”

“MICHA!”

Michael laughed loudly and looked as his father with childness innocence. Chuck felt his heart melt. His baby’s blue eyes where filled with joy and excitement. Plus, that adorable laugh. Chuck was suddenly filled with pride. “Come here baby.”

Michael made grabby hands as Chuck lent down to pick him up. Michael smiled at him and nuzzled up close, feeling the love and protection of his dad. “Daddy, love chu.”

“Love you too baby.” Chuck whispered and kissed his forehead with extra love.


	5. Brothers are donkeys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the archangels groom each other, the tea and gossip comes out

“I bet you if you tell Dad He looks old He will make you sleep outside.” Lucifer said randomly.

Raphael pulled a lose feather out of Lucifer’s wing. “If it was you he would just laugh.”

“Would not.”

“Would too.”

Gabriel shifted in Michael’s lap. “Mikey, tell them to shut up.” Gabriel whispered and gave Michael the puppy dog eyes.

Michael sighed and stopped grooming Gabriel to look at his younger brothers. “Lucifer, Raphael, shut up.” Michael then went back to his earlier task.

“Did you hear about Faniel getting stoned?” Raphael giggled from the mess of Lucifer’s right wing.

“No way! I saw him like... three days ago! How did it happen?”

“From what I understand, Balthazar was trying to steal the weapons, again, and when Faniel came in, Balthazar dropped the stone.”

Gabriel snorted. “I knew that kid was going placing. Not good places, but places.”

“Hey! That’s my fledgling!” Lucifer and Michael snap. “Be nice.” Then they pout.

Gabriel rolled his eyes. “Wait. If he’s your fledgling, how are you just hearing about this?”

“To be fair Gabe, where Balthazar is, Castiel is. How do YOU not know about this?”

Gabriel looked like he would defend his own fledgling’s honor but the door opened. Speak of the... nevermind. Balthazar and Castiel came in arguing loudly. “Gabriel he pushed me!”

“Only because you called me a donkey!”

“Did not!”

“Did too!”

“I don’t even know what a donkey is!”

“Fook off!”

“No you!”

The archangels look at the two and try to contain their laughter.

“That’s it! I’m telling Dad instead! DADDY!”

“NO! GET BACK HERE YOU HEATHEN! YOU CAN PUSH ME BACK!”

The doors slam close. “Should we...”

“No.”

Then, from a distance, you can hear “STOP HITTING EACH OTHER! OH MYSELF! BALTHAZAR PUT THAT SWORD DOWN- DON’T STAB YOUR BROTHER! CASTIEL PUT BACK-“

The archangels look at each other then at the door. Then back at each other. They shrug and let their dad deal with... that.


End file.
